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You’ve Got A Friend

What is the most underutilized resource in schools today? 


Peer assistance in schools has been a valid teaching strategy for as long as schools have existed.  Peer programs allow students to help other students with academic and social support throughout the school day.  It takes different forms ranging from informal programs to structured formal systems, but there is much research about the value of building these natural supports—peers, buddies, friends—in and out of the classrooms. 

None of this is surprising to a parent, however.  How often have we painfully tried to convince our child to do something; but once a friend effortlessly suggests it, their language is magical.  Poof!  Suddenly it’s a great idea! 

Success of Peer Programs

Studies confirm what we have experienced—that cross-age and same-age peer support programs are as effective or more effective than traditional teacher-mediated practices for students with and without disabilities.

As a teacher, I have witnessed first-hand in my school district the success of peer programs—truly, a win-win situation for all involved.

  • Students needing assistance are accepted as full members of the general education classroom receiving academic and social support from their peers.  All are welcomed, valued, and appreciated. 

  • Students without disabilities gain a better understanding and acceptance of diversity while improving their own skills. 

  • Teachers who use peer tutoring or cross-age tutoring and peer supports in their classrooms see the benefits of a responsive classroom with a cooperative environment—a safe place where all kids belong and work together.  A place where it is an accepted norm that we all need help from time to time.

  • Parents and community are welcomed, and the educational system truly becomes a model of what society can be like. 

What a preparation for real world experiences!

Click Here to View the Video: Peer Video

Components of Peer Programs

Typically, there are two components of peer programs: academic support and social support.  Both have the goal to increase the positive interaction between general education students and students with special needs. Both are important for our children to feel included and have the opportunity for success in school. 

Academic Peer Support

An outstanding example of academic peer support is the PALS program in many schools today.  PALS is considered a best practice by the U.S. Department of Education Program Effectiveness Panel for Inclusion.

Academic peer support programs involve several steps from a dedicated planning team and coordinator to thoughtful recruiting, selecting, and training of the peer tutors, to ongoing monitoring, assistance, and guidance of the program. 

Social Peer Support

A favorite quote of mine embedded in the Stetson Step-by-Step Training for Inclusive schools  is from Norm Kunc:

The Need to Belong:  Rediscovering Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

“All children are children.  The perception that some children are normal and others are deficient and therefore need to be repaired in some way is still a concomitant of a society that values uniformity rather than diversity.  When children are given the right to belong, they are given a right to their diversity.  They are wholly welcomed into our neighborhoods as ones who enrich our lives…without having to…jump through hoops…to be normal enough to belong.”

                                                Kunc, N. The Need to Belong. Axis Consultation and Traing Ltd.

How are we doing in promoting social support—peer friends?

Do we highlight similarities between the child and the peer friend?

Do we re-direct conversation to the child with a disability rather than to the adult present so peer conversation is encouraged?

Do we give responsibilities to our children that require interactions with peers?

Do we make interdependence a goal for every child?

Four Types of Helping

I still enjoy hearing the lyrics to the James Taylor song, “You’ve Got A Friend,”

When you're down and troubled

and you need a helping hand,

and nothing, nothing is going right.

Close your eyes and think of me

and soon I will be there…

Many individuals with disabilities may need help and support throughout their entire lives, as is true of any person.    Mara Sapon-Shevin offers four types of helping in her book, Because We Can Change the World: A Practical Guide To Building Cooperative, Inclusive Classroom Communities .  I think these are beneficial guidelines for the home and the classroom.

1. Asking for help appropriately—“Could you help me with this?”

2. Offering help respectfully—“Would it help if I read that problem out loud for you?”

3. Accepting help graciously—“Thanks for noticing I needed help with that.”

4. Rejecting help kindly—“No thanks.”


When peers are used to support inclusive practices, everyone benefits!  Check out the many resources available throughout this website.  Find out what peer support programs are available to your child at school and in your community.  These natural supports help our children to experience and believe the message, “You’ve Got a Friend!”  




Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Diane Linder March 8, 2012

    I am a teacher and a parent of a child with special needs. Since we relocated four years ago in order to place our son in an inclusive classroom I have been trying hard to understand the factors which have led to his nearly miraculous success. His peers have made an enormous impact on his life. They have included him unconditionally from the start (which was the middle of kindergarten in 2008) and they have a deep appreciation and understanding of him. There have been many times when his teachers have learned from his peers. Last year, for example, the class was using hand held looms to create potholders. Because of my son's difficulty with fine motor work the teacher prepared an alternate activity for him to do, involving sorting and counting the bands for the potholder. My son had little interest in this task and wanted to make the potholder. The teacher quickly grew frustrated and went to work with some other children only to return a few minutes later to see that the girl next to him had shown him how to make the woven square. This was a turning point for all of us that year, teacher included. She saw that many things were possible for him and that sometimes only another 8 year old can help him reach his potential.
    As a teacher myself I have changed over the past few years. I know now the power of peers and I know the importance of unconditional acceptance. I use every student in my classroom as supports for each other, we take turns being "experts" and "helpers." I listen to my students in new ways, and my teaching is energized after 23 years. I have a child with autism (let's call him Kevin) who decided he did not want his aid by his side each and every day in my classroom. (I teach middle school) I took this as a sign of growth and worked out a plan where his aid helps me with other students. Kevin has become more independent. A circle of classmates began to stand by to offer him help and they have, but to everyones delight Kevin is now offering help to his classmates as well. Miricles happen when we listen, when we are flexible and when we trust in the power of the community.